I met my husband Phreddie right after I turned 21. I was at a restaurant called “Bobby McGees”. I was with my girlfriend having dinner and after dinner we went to the “club” section - which was a DJ playing music to create a “club-Like” atmosphere. I wasn’t there to meet anyone. As my friend and I sat in the lounge area, this guy approached me and asked me to dance. I did dance, without eye contact. Moving to the music modestly and enjoying the beat. As we finished the song, the guy said sometime of pick up line. I stopped him and thanked him for the dance and returned to my seat. My girlfriend, liked his smile and gave him my phone number. That guys turned out to be a nice guy, good looking but not my “type”. We talked here and there and eventually connected in a special way. It was Christmas time. Christmas is my favorite season and I was the last adult living at home with my parents. This particular year, my parents went to Washington State to spend Christmas with my brother and his family. I was left alone on Christmas in California. This guy, Phreddie invited me to share his world at Christmas. He was warm and I loved the way he talked about his children. At the time, I as young and romantized everything about our relationship. I believed everything that Phreddie told me. He mentioned his children’s mother - but focused our time together and conversation about me and us. I never had that type of attention and his energy and demeanor was so attractive. He listened to me with such intensity and marveled at my intellect and the way that I carried myself. It wasn’t long until we fell in love. The one thing that was missing in our relationship was purpose. We enjoyed the qualities in our personalities that allowed us to feel safe. I didn’t demand anything from him and he didn’t request anything from me. Our world was special and remain special until we had to deal with the reality of everything our relationship didn’t have. Phreddie was very independent and only wanted to have fun. He was a father to his biological children and father-like to his younger sisters. His posture was one that was responsible and I watched as I grew to understand his relationship with his mom. He was her favorite and her partner in life situations. We broke up a few times. The reality of my deserve to feel secure and his desire to be free was the ultimate clash. We had known each other for 2 years and occasionally connected for conversation and physical touch. We were friends that were lovers. Our relationship worked as long as the only demands were the limited time we spent together. I found out that I was pregnant in January 1993. I was devastated and Phreddie was excited. We had our son in September 1993. The birth of our son ignited the need in our lives to identify who we are and whose we are. Phreddie rededicated his life to The Lord and I followed shortly ther after. We committed to be parents to our son and not in a relationship. The most valueable lesson that I can share with you is when you enter a relationship without any expectations - you can’t expect to have your needs fulfilled or plan your future. Individually, we were not establish in our place in the world or in God’s plan for our lives. After we committed our lives, we went to marriage counseling and decided on marriage. The commitment to God was necessary, but we didn’t just want to go to church. We decided to get into a relationship with the God that created us to learn who we are. We also decided that Jesus would be the Lord of life. Every decision would be filtered with God’s Word and how we have grown in our relationship with God. There are so many details that made the difference. The romance that mattered the most was time I fell in love with Jesus. The romance continues, we are on year 29 #relationship #love #Jesus #romance #reality #identity #christian
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