Stepparent, The Job You NEVER apply for

I decided to marry a man that had children. It wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. We got married after 4 long months of pre-martial counseling. We had already created a family with the birth of our son, so the total amount of children that we had as we entered into the union of marriage was 4. In counseling and in my prayer time, I vassilated between if I should marry a man with children that I didn’t birth. I wondered if I was being selfish and only thinking about my wants. I prayed and thought of worst case scenarios. I understood that the children were here before I met their Dad and that their mom was not my biggest fan. I understood that I would be in a position that, if labeled - I would be considered the one who broke up their family. I was not. Regardless of my marriage to their Dad; he would not have married their mother. I have always been mature about my relationships. I would rather have broke up with my then boyfriend and start again with someone else than to cause the children a lifetime of mystery and confusion that their parents created. But what was God telling me to do? I heard the Lord tell me that if my then boyfriend made the right decisions, he would be the one for me. He made the right decisions and he was the one for me. I decided that the relationship with him would be an example to the kids. They would find a friend in me. I would be there to support them - not as a mother - they have a wonderful mother, but as a step-mother who would add to their circle of people that would cheer for them, pray for them and care for them. This was a job that I never applied for, but I was willing to take on. The children would come and spend time with us and I was reminded of who I wasn’t with every situation that did not go in their favor. It was hard, and even now as adults it remains hard. The truth is that children will always, I mean always want their parents to be together. It is the natural design within a family. I learned to honor that desire; and although I could never give them that - I could accept them for who they are and embrace them with a love that I couldn’t explain. I will never be their mom. But I will always be their Terrilyn. I love them and treat them with the same love and affection that I have for the children that I did birth. The difference is up to them. So even though I did not apply for the position - no one is more qualified to champion each one of my step-children with the simple delight in who they are and all that they were created to be. I call them my children when they aren’t listening and the only “step” are the steps of me getting closer to God. Grateful there are no layoffs in this position and for a husband that appreciates my heart as it comes to my children. I love all of them so much #blendedfamilies #stepmother #hardestjobever #loveunconditionally #faith #hope #love